How Mediation Works
You can call us to discuss mediation with our Intake Coordinator, Jocelyn. You can also fill in our request form. Once you let us know you are interested, we need to confirm that the other party agrees to do mediation too. If you are not certain if the other party will agree, our Intake Coordinator, Jocelyn, can send a letter to them to explain our services and ask if they agree. She can also answer any questions either of you have.
Once both parties confirm their willingness to proceed, Jocelyn will assign a mediator and provide you information about your fee. She will set up a private, confidential intake appointment for each of you as well as the joint mediation session. You may want to mediate in person or you can do so online via zoom. Some joint sessions take place with everyone in the same room (or Zoom room) and some can take place with each of you in a different room. Your mediator will choose what will work best for you.
Your first private intake appointment lets you meet with your mediator and learn about the process, discuss what’s important to you and gives you another opportunity to decide if mediation is right for you. After intake, if both of you agree and are suitable for mediation, you will proceed with your joint session.
When you meet with your mediator privately in your intake session, they will encourage you to tell your story, explaining all of the things you are concerned about and would like to see happen. They will ask you questions to help understand your situation. The mediator will also ask questions about any history you have of arguments or power imbalances that would mean the process would not be safe or fair for you. If you appear to need some legal advice at this stage they may help connect you to do that.
The mediator will also explain the mediation process to you and will tell you what to bring to your first Mediation session, including proof of income and any other important documents. We will need reliable financial disclosure to mediate support and property issues and your mediator will explain this to you.
Please feel free to ask questions as well, and get to know your mediator.
On the day of your mediation, your mediator will check in with each of you privately to see if anything has changed and to see how comfortable you would be being in the same room. Although we generally mediate in the same room, especially when parenting is being worked out, there are times when it would be best for you if you are in separate rooms. Your mediator will use the process that will work best for you.
Prior to your mediation session you will be asked to sign the Agreement to Mediate. This is an important contract between you both and the mediator that allows your conversations to be private.
Your mediator is skilled at helping the two of you have a difficult conversation in a new way. The mediator will guide the “process”, for example directing you to take turns, listen to each other carefully, helping each of you hear the other persons perspective. The mediator will encourage the two of you to come up with solutions and help you to come up with options if you get stuck. Some people describe mediation as “issue” based, rather than “rights” based. For this reason mediated agreements can include agreements on things that a court may not get involved with. You can be creative. Whatever matters to you matters to us.
Some mediations get completed in one session, but others may take a few more. The mediator may give you some ‘homework’, or time to think about options, or receive legal advice after the first session. Each situation is different. You may receive a Progress Note after each session that will document your progress and any homework.
When the mediation is complete, the mediator will prepare your Mediation Report indicating in detail what you both agreed to in mediation. If you want a legally binding agreement, your lawyer would put it into minutes of settlement if you are in the court system or prepare a legal separation agreement if you are not. Your mediator will explain these options more fully to you when you get to this point.
If you do not have a lawyer and you would like to formalize your settlement in a Separation Agreement, we have a list of lawyers who will help you and we will also explain how you can do this yourself if you choose.
Mediation in Person or Online
You have the option of mediating in person or online via Zoom. Online mediation still allows the same process as outlined above and is confidential and secure.
How long does it take?
Your mediation will depend on many factors, such as:
- Number of issues to be mediated
- Nature of issues mediated: emotionality, and complexity
- Amount of conflict between parties
- Degree of communication & co-operation between parties
- Whether the children and/or others are to be involved
However, it is estimated that it will take between 4 to 8 hours to complete.
S’il vous plaît nous aviser si vous avez besoin des services de médiation en français.
Child Inclusive Mediation
The Ontario Association for Family Mediation created standards for mediations involving children that require mediators to be child centered and provide education, awareness and understanding of the needs and best interests of children experiencing the conflict of others. They must consider whether and how children can be heard in a safe, supportive way while also providing education about the importance of not causing children undue pressure to have an opinion or become a decision maker. Participation must be voluntary, and no child should ever be pressured into talking with a mediator or professional, recognizing that not all children will wish to take the opportunity to have a voice. We offer this Child Inclusive Mediation through a closed, co-mediation model. For more information please see the Voice of the Child Process Within Mediation information sheet or click here.